Free eBooks Emotionally Healthy Twins: A New Philosophy For Parenting Two Unique Children Available To Downloads
Most parents try to treat their twins as individuals, but most unwittingly undermine their best intentions because they lack a practical set of guidelines for raising emotionally healthy multiples. Drawing on her unique experience as a twin, the mother of twins, and as a psychotherapist, Dr. Joan A. Friedman outlines the seven key concepts for helping twins develop into self-realized, unique individuals and offers parents specific strategies for each stage in their children’s growth. From how to set up the nursery to handling playdates and extracurricular activities, from deciding on same or separate classroom education to encouraging grandparents and other family members to think beyond the pair to see individuals, Emotionally Healthy Twins will become the standard reference for parenting twins.
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Da Capo Press (February 12, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0738210870
ISBN-13: 978-0738210872
Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 13.3 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #150,224 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #10 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Twins & Multiples #66 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Siblings #213 in Books > Self-Help > Emotions
I only wish I'd found this book sooner -- it's the one book that's had the greatest positive impact on how I think about raising my identical twin toddler boys. Dr. Friedman hits it right on the head from the start: twins just happen to be born at roughly the same moment in time but need to live life as two unique individuals. And parents can help this process by enabling their children to have truly separate and unique experiences AND relationships that support the development of a healthy sense of self.Dr. Friedman's discussion early in the book about the "twin mystique" sets the tone for her later observations and parenting suggestions. This "mystique" is a set of faulty ideals about twins that are held in popular culture: they inhabit their own private world that only they hold the map to; they feel lost without each other and want to preserve their twosome status into adulthood; one always knows what the other one needs, therefore twins are "each other's predestined partner and confidant."I consider myself a thoughtful, educated and empathic person and parent, and never thought I'd fall into the mindset of this mystique, but this book totally challenged many of my beliefs about twins. And I thank the author for that! I don't pretend to know what being a twin is like, but I now know a lot more about the issues surrounding their healthy development. Friedman's personal story about discovering the need for alone time with each twin really struck an instant chord with me. I can't believe (and kick myself hard!) that I hadn't embraced this idea sooner - it's a remarkably simple solution to the overwhelming feeling of not being mom enough for two little ones who need a lot of your constant attention.
This book has a definite point of view, so reading it can be thought-provoking, even if you don't agree -- sort of like listening to Ron Paul, or to a vegan. Friedman throws down the gauntlet early in the book, with this suggestion of how to announce the impending arrival of twins. PARENT-TO-BE: I have wonderful news! Brad and I are going to be the parents of two babies! MOTHER-IN-LAW: What do you mean? Are you saying you're having twins? PARENT-TO-BE: Yes, but we're already thinking about them as two separate children, because that's what they are: two separate babies born at the same time. MOTHER-IN-LAW: What's wrong with calling them twins? PARENT-TO-BE: Nothing's wrong with it. It's just that Brad and I feel strongly about relating to our babies as two distinct children rather than as a pair. And we hope that our friends and family will treat them as individuals as well. MOTHER-IN-LAW: Hmmmm. Okay, well congratulations, anyhow!"Two separate babies born at the same time" -- if only there were a more succinct way of saying that. Oh, wait, there is --- throughout much of the book Friedman uses the term "same-age siblings". The term would probably be less grating if she said something like, "I'm using this term interchangeably with the term 'twin' to drive home the point that they don't need to be treated like a pair anymore than non-twin siblings." But instead we're left to guess at the reasoning behind her goofy coinage. Other than language weirdness, here are my other problems with this book: * She gives no consideration to a cost/benefit analysis of her favorite prescription: alone time between a parent and one twin.
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