Paperback: 224 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks; 5th edition (September 1, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1889140708
ISBN-13: 978-1889140704
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars See all reviews (257 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #47,817 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #8 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families #93 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Conflict Management #102 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Conflict Resolution
I bought this book because I have a friend that uses counting with her nearly 8 year old daughter and she swears by it and I wanted to learn more about it. I can see that it is very effective at stopping unwanted behavior because I've never seen my friend get past the count of one. The only problem is that she's having trouble connecting with her daughter and she gets upset because she feels that her daughter does not respect her anymore because when she talks to her, a lot of the time she just quietly sighs, rolls her eyes and walks away and ignores her. She still has a good relationship with her daughter but I think it is upsetting to her because it's just not as good as she would like it to be. After reading the book I think I understand why she's having this problem connecting with her daughter.There is a chapter on sympathetic listening for the purpose of bonding and building your relationship with your child but it's an absolute joke. The author makes it sound as if listening to your child is just something you need to grin and bare and the examples he uses are nothing more then paying lip service to your child's feelings. The book tells you that the distinction between empathy and sympathy is not important and the point of listening is just to listen to and sympathize what they're saying and this will help them feel respected. I disagree with this and I think the distinction is very important. Sympathetic listening is wonderful and it will defiantly make your child feel more respected. But the way you really connect with someone on a deeper level is by actually empathizing with that person and really taking the time imagine yourself in their situation and how that would make you feel.
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