Free eBooks Scheisse! The Real German You Were Never Taught In School Available To Downloads

                
              
Free eBooks 
Scheisse! The Real German You Were Never Taught In School Available To Downloads
If you think you have a fairly good command of German, think again. For it's a sure bet that Frau Schultz never taught you those nasty little guttural curses and humiliating invectives so expressive of real low German speech. But relax - here at last is the one book that can introduce you to the very worst beer-hall German. "Scheisse!" is an indispensible guide to off-color German colloquialisms and profanities - lascivious bedroom slang and boozy insults, jeering scatalogical put-downs and scurrilous ridicule. This hilariously illustrated cornucopia of creative expletives, gauranteed to vex, taunt, aggravate, and provoke as only overwrought low German can, will help you master the fine art of German verbal abuse - with triumphant one-upmanship.
Paperback: 144 pages
Publisher: Plume (July 1, 1994)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0452272211
ISBN-13: 978-0452272217
Product Dimensions:  5.3 x 0.4 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:  4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #552,417 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)   #113 in Books > Reference > Dictionaries & Thesauruses > Slang & Idioms   #973 in Books > Humor & Entertainment > Humor > Love, Sex & Marriage   #976 in Books > Reference > Words, Language & Grammar > Vocabulary, Slang & Word Lists
I'm a native German speaker and as such I kind of feel the need to warn you a little about this book...First I have to say that it is indeed very funny and VERY resourceful- I didn't know all of the words in here! If you are frustrated while studying German or just for fun before coming to Germany on a trip this book is a really good read I think. BUT (here it comes) you are probably quite prone to make a fool out of yourself when using some of the words or phrases in here, because a lot of it is horribly outdated. If I heard someone say some of this stuff I would probably be lying on the floor laughing- so you might not come across quite as planned!But this isn't to say that I wouldn't buy this book if I were you! (I still have to find an equivalent of this in English :o)!)You might want to consult a native speaker once in a while though...
This book provides some useful words and expressions that you certainly won't learn in American high schools or colleges. It is probably the best of its kind available for German (the Wicked series books are filled with ridiculous made-up sayings that no native speaker really uses). That said, it really doesn't compare with the Merde books in French, of which this is the German equivalent. For instance, the sentences given as examples are not witty and they are also loosely translated into English, which might give the right "feel" but is not the best for someone trying to learn the intricacies of their usage. Also, the German doesn't get as vulgar as the French (whether this is because the German language is more civilized or this book less complete I hesitate to answer). One understandable problem is that there are tons of different dialects and regional differences in German so that a general unified version of German slang is sure to lack some substance. Consider also the great wealth of Viennese slang (Wienerisch, eh kloar!) or the different Swiss expressions which are of necessity left out. Over all this is a pretty decent book for those who want to learn some "low German" or just try out some choice words on their German teacher!
In her book, "Scheisse" Gertrude Besserwisser, which seems to almost have to be a pseudonym, the reader is introduced to really wonderful low Deutsch of the most common variety. In fact, this is German you don't learn in school, I heard this stuff when I went to Germany, Austria and Switzerland. But not in school.No profanity is too great for the unabashed Besserwisser. Wonderful colloquial German expressions of full throttle profanity and abusiveness are introduced in this book, along with illustrations by David Levine that increase the humor of the presentation.The one item that the reader should know, is that basic knowledge of a little German is really a pre-requisite to get the most out of this book. Although, it is readable, by those who have never spoken a word of German. And just as funny. This book is highly recommended for people about to take a trip to a German speaking country. At least you will know when they are cursing at you, even if you cannot understand all of it.
Not only does this book teach you all the 'dirty words', but it gives you insight into the German culture. Seeing that there's a phrase to call beer 'liquid bread' seems silly at first, but you quickly learn there's a lot more to it. It's a similar experience to learning some of the small cultural bits in your own language- Americans might relate to how whiskey can be formulated as "grandpa's cough medicine", or various beer/food/etc combinations can become the "breakfast of champions".The great thing about this book is that it's careful to seperate myths from truth, and stereotypes from cultural traditions. Not only will you learn how to say the dirty word, but you'll learn the culture around the word, and how much trouble it will get you in. You'll learn what words we THINK are naughty but aren't, and some pitfalls you might run in to trying to speak everyday German (more things that SHOULD be taught in school but never are).Great just for the fun of it, excellent if you plan on travelling, and absolutely necessary if you plan on drinking. Yes, you should have a basic running knowledge of German before picking up a copy, but so long as you know how to string together some basic sentences, this book will do the rest. I can't reccomend this highly enough.
This is probably the funniest book you'll ever see on German, and it's the only one I've seen on the subject. Most of the book wouldn't be repeatable here, but I might be able to mention a couple things. "Die Muschi" refers both to "cat" as well as to you know what, just as in English. Equally funny, I recall from my study of Chinese that in Mandarin, the word "mao," pronounced with the tone that falls at first and then rises, has the same dual meaning too. So German, Chinese, and English are all alike in this respect. :-) You might hear the acronym "BMW", but it doesn't refer to the car. It's shorthand for Brett mit Warzen, or "a board with warts," referring to a woman that is not especially well endowed. However, "der Vorbau" means just the opposite. In fact, it translates as "front porch," which carries a connotation of being fairly heavy as well.The book has 12 chapters with hundreds of off-color and colorful phrases and words, and a glossary. Each chapter has a paragraph of introduction to the subject of the chapter, such as "Curses, Epithets, and Other Cries of Exasperation," or "The Basics," or "Body Language and Other Parts." Finally, there a little quiz in the back to test your new-found knowledge of scatological German linguistics, so to speak. The book is only 112 pages, but there is a lot of information in those 112 pages, and it's worth the price just for the entertainment factor.
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