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No One's The Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan For The Mother And Stepmother Relationship
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Sad, but true: the divorced mom/stepmom relationship is typically one of the most contentious relationships in our modern families. Women struggle with overlapping responsibilities and the misunderstandings that come from infrequent, direct interaction - but plenty of (unwilling) involvement in each other's lives. Learn how the two sides are typically wrestling with the same negative emotions and might even be benefitting from keeping the conflict going. Is this really what we want to model for our children? The answer to that question is what motivated us to change. We went from barely being able to make eye contact or conversation, to finally becoming close friends and working co-parents. We share our journey and hands-on steps here in the hopes of helping you avoid the countless mistakes we made along the way. 

Paperback: 256 pages

Publisher: Globe Pequot Press; First Edition edition (May 5, 2009)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0762750936

ISBN-13: 978-0762750931

Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches

Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)

Best Sellers Rank: #468,396 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #75 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Stepparenting & Blended Families #612 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Divorce #939 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Motherhood

I am a stepmom dealing with a very difficult relationship with my stepdaughters' mother. I have mixed feelings about this book. I think the advice would be GREAT if you are dealing with someone reasonable - it really exposes how moms and stepmoms see the same situation in different ways and I think that could be really helpful. However - if you are dealing with someone who is not willing to meet you part-way, this book can really backfire by raising your expectations and then just letting you down.In my own situation, I thought I was getting a lot out of this book at first. My husband's ex is herself remarried. She loves her daughters and has kept the conflict away from them. The divorce was mutual. Etc. It seemed like a good candidate for a decent working relationship. Reading the book opened my eyes to how the girls' mom was probably feeling about my arrival on the scene, and I started to feel a lot empathy for her. I tried really hard to adjust my behavior so as not to trigger common mom/stepmom issues, and I really tried to "own my own %#$^", as the book suggests. I also reached out a number of times, in both direct and low-key ways (asking her if she wants to have coffee, being warm at the door during drop-offs, etc). All as the book suggested.Unfortunately, in my case it turns out that I was dealing with someone who is angry and will likely stay that way. If anything, I think my attempts to be friendly to her only made her angrier. And then when she rejected those attempts, it just made ME angry and hurt. Basically, my own optimism (drawn from the book) that this situation could improve totally backfired because I now feel rejected.

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