Free eBooks Boundaries Face To Face: How To Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding Available To Downloads

                
              
Free eBooks 
Boundaries Face To Face: How To Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding Available To Downloads
A practical handbook on positive confrontation by the authors of the award-winning and best-selling Boundaries. Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships. They have discovered that uncomfortable---even dangerous---situations can often be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don't know how to go about having difficult conversations. We see confrontation as scary or adversarial. We're afraid to ask a boss for a raise or talk to a relative about a drinking problem, or even address a relational conflict with a spouse or someone we are dating. In Boundaries Face to Face authors Cloud and Townsend take the principles from their best-selling book Boundaries and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships. * Explains why confrontation is essential in all arenas of life * Shows how healthy confrontation can improve relationships * Presents the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation * Provides tips on how to prepare for the conversation * Shows how to tell people what you want, how to stop bad behavior, and how to deal with counterattack * Gives actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your boss, your parents, and more From the Book Sometimes people get confused in a confrontation because the other person gets them off track. If that happens, remember this formula. Empathize with their feelings or position, and return to your issue. Here's an example. Joe: 'I can't believe you were offended by my comments. You joke around more than anyone here. That's pretty hypocritical.' You: 'I understand it's hard for you to see, and I'm glad you meant it as a joke and weren't trying to be hurtful. What I'm telling you, though, and what I don't want you to miss, is how it affected me. It hurt me and I don't want to be talked to like that.'
Hardcover: 272 pages
Publisher: Zondervan; First Edition edition (September 28, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0310221528
ISBN-13: 978-0310221524
Product Dimensions:  6.2 x 0.9 x 9.3 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
Average Customer Review:  4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #270,047 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)   #61 in Books > Reference > Etiquette > Conversation   #377 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Conflict Management   #411 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Conflict Resolution
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have extensive experience in the study of how to have healthy confrontations and set boundaries in one's life. I found their book on the subject very helpful.Cloud and Townsend explain that "a boundary is your personal property line. It defines who you are, where you end, and where others begin" (page 17). I believe that ministers probably have more trouble in this area that the general population because their entire life is focused on helping others. This provides many opportunities to forget where you end and where those that you are trying to help begin. This has been my own struggle for a long time.The authors make it clear that one of the reasons why this is dangerous is because it will eventually breed resentment in your heart toward those who regularly cross the boundary lines. Another danger is that you often are training them to be unhealthy in their expectations. At some point you are not going to be able to carry both your load and theirs and then you will both be in trouble.Frequent boundary crossing will lead toward alienation between the two parties. "Two people meeting to have the talk is a first step toward ending alienation" (page 23). This book is filled with practical and helpful suggestions on how to have that talk. Numerous scenarios and role plays were given throughout the book that showed how it might work out in real life. I found the various examples one of the most helpful parts of the book.The authors had a lot of simple ways in which a person could improve the chances of a successful confrontation. They warned against using "global statements in all-or-nothing terms [because they] do little to solve a problem" (page 69).
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