Free eBooks Abandoned Parents: The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes And Consequences Of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents Available To Downloads

                
              
Free eBooks 
Abandoned Parents: The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes And Consequences Of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents Available To Downloads
Adult children who abandon their parents are becoming an issue around the globe. This book is about the causes and consequences. It seeks to authenticate the injury of ostracism to parents and offer a framework for discussion of the issues.
Paperback: 102 pages
Publisher: CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform (August 27, 2014)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 150097370X
ISBN-13: 978-1500973704
Product Dimensions:  6 x 0.2 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:  4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (85 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #179,327 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)   #121 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Parent & Adult Child
It is a difficult, heartbreaking situation for a parent to find themselves shunned by their adult child - no matter what the reason. I hope that all who are in that place can find help and hope.This, however, is not a hopeful nor even a helpful book. It's an unprofessional rant, poorly printed, self-contradictory, with some of the worst advice I've ever heard anyone give to hurting people. Take, for example, the author's assertion that no psychiatrist, pastor, or counselor of any sort should ever even question a parent about what their role was in the family's estrangement. Now, I do *not* believe that every, or even most, family problems are the parents' fault. However, to recommend to anyone that they leave the office of anyone daring to even probe into the possibility of taking any personal responsibility for any part of a relationship issue is a very irresponsible recommendation, and if taken whole, this advice could actually prevent healing and wholeness for many.The thing that really made me scratch my head was the real-life testimonies sprinkled throughout the pages. Many (though not all) of them were clearly from parents who have significant hangups, if not outright dysfunction, in the expectations and perceptions they have of their families. Using the words of people who display obvious narcissism, emotional incest (that is, treating a child more as a fill-in for a spouse or bosom friend, with no healthy parent-child boundaries), enmeshment, and other toxic relational difficulties in regards to their adult children is extremely counterproductive at best - or a demonstration of self-delusion and myopia at worst - and I can't imagine any wise counselor or author including these testimonies.
This book is not about a parent who was abusive, mentally ill or dysfunctional on any level and their child was forced to proclaim boundaries in order to survive. To the people who have given this a one star rating and claim that the author or the testimonies which she used are not speaking the truth or are hiding something or that the parent could have some liability or responsibility in the abandonment are plain wrong and have not experienced it. They cannot fathom that the parent did nothing wrong. This is why the parents who have experienced this form of abuse cannot speak of it. The stigma is so immense, the pain so unbearable, the illogic of the situation so inexplicable and the support so non-existent. This was the first book which I read that validated my experience and allowed me to feel what any victim is allowed to feel. Anyone who still thinks that in the case of parental abandonment that the parent must have done something wrong is equating it to blaming a victim of rape for wearing the wrong clothing or being in the wrong place. Estrangement or abandonment by a parent, sibling, spouse or any significant other is NOTHING the same as abandonment by your own child that you have loved more than life and valued more than yourself. If you are not the victim of your child abandoning you for absolutely NO reason that you or anyone else knows of; then you know nothing of this horror and you should not have read the book, let alone given it a poor rating. If you were the child and erected what you thought were survival boundaries and alienated yourself from a parent; this is not the book for you. It takes two people to make any relationship work and it takes only one to break that relationship. Thank you Sharon Wildey for putting this taboo topic out there.
It's a silent, secret epidemic. We keep our mouths shut. We don't tell anyone. Because when we DO tell someone, the first assumption is, "Geez, what did you do to that kid that was so bad that they carved you out of their life?"There's a presumption that the parent MUST have done something awful to merit shunning by an adult child.So we don't tell another soul. Our closest friends have no idea. Sometimes, we make up stories about the grandchildren we never see. Or, we tell people there that we have *no* grandchildren, because that's the easier path, and in some cases, much closer to the wretched truth.Our numbers are legion. This is a nationwide epidemic of narcissitic young people who feel free to abandon and shun their parents. I have posted a few comments at other places, and had to delete them later, because the comments got "picked up" by a couple young people who decided this was a good place to explain why parents SHOULD be dumped.That's NOT what this issue is about. It's about parents who did their very best, and even an above-average job and yet when the children hit their adulthood (typically in late 20s), those parents were shunned by these ungrateful, self-serving, narcissistic, self-absorbed adult children.I read way too much, and I've read a half dozen books on this topic. Most, I would rate "Marginal to Poor." And most of these books address a broad range of topics, such as rebellious teens, drug addiction, mental illness, etc. This book ("Abandoned Parents") goes to the heart of the issue and is devoted to the problem of adult children who abandon their parents. And, unlike some of the other books I've read, it bluntly explains that abandonment is ABUSE.
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