Free eBooks In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide For Relatives And Friends. (Mom's Choice Award Winner) Available To Downloads
One adoption social worker called In On It "the adoption book for everyone else": the grandparents and friends, neighbors and colleagues, aunts and uncles, teachers and caregivers of adoptive families. In On It contains helpful advice and instructive anecdotes from adoptive parents, adult adoptees, adoption professionals, and the friends and relatives of already established adoptive families. The author, an adoptive parent herself, has written an informative, friendly and very useful adoption guide that informs and enlightens readers even as it offers them a warm welcome into adoption.
Paperback: 184 pages
Publisher: Fig Press, LLC; 1st edition (October 6, 2010)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0982876505
ISBN-13: 978-0982876503
Product Dimensions: 5.7 x 0.5 x 7.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars See all reviews (58 customer reviews)
Best Sellers Rank: #23,716 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #6 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Grandparenting #22 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption
My husband and I (we're the one’s adopting) read this before giving it to family members (plural, because we've bought 2 copies and may buy more). We both think it addresses and explains all the steps we're going through and kindly but straight forwardly helps others understand them as well. I would be amiss if I didn't also admit that it brought up a few things we hadn't talked about, so it launched some important conversations. It's a quick read and a must read for everyone involved in adoption.
I am preparing to teach a breakout session at an adoption retreat about how to choose resource books for adoptive family libraries. I reviewed this book to find out if I wanted to include it in my list of recommended books. Overall, I like the idea of this book a lot! It offer GREAT points that I feel would have been helpful to share with my own family before we adopted two of our children. We've gotten several difficult comments in front of our children, or have had extended family over share because they just didn't know what's appropriate (and we should have told them). It hits on some more difficult topics, like addressing inappropriate questions, especially when asked in front of children. I also like how O'Toole helps to equip relatives and friends to answer adoption-related questions, making sure to be sensitive to the family and child's story. Although the book does touch on attachment and cocooning, I was hoping for more information about why adoptive parents often choose to "shelter" (cocoon) their new child for extended periods of time from other adults and even children. This can be difficult to understand for many people, and I think a few more pages about attachment and bonding would have been helpful. The other topic I was hoping to see but was missed was the effects of trauma, neglect, and abuse on the brain. Even children who were adopted at birth experience trauma, and many children who are adopted spend years in very neglectful, traumatic orphanages. This is very real for many adoptive families and needs to be discussed with relatives and close friends, because it can certainly affect the way we parent and discipline our children. Other than that, 4 stars for awesome content. I'll definitely be suggesting that families refer to this book for the relatives and friends!
As the aunt of three adopted children, this book has been invaluable in helping me understand and appreciate the blessing that adoption is. It answered for me both the big and little questions I had about adoption--and quite a few I had never considered before--and presented ways in which I can help support family members who have adopted. It's the first book on adoption that I've seen that widens the circle of the adoption experience beyond parent and child. Elisabeth O'Toole guides readers through adoption--and all the uniquely beautiful, messy, wonderful, painful stuff that accompanies parenting in a family with adopted children--with eloquence and humor. She's a great writer with a sensitive and sensible approach to a complex issue. For those who want an insider's perspective on what adoption is all about, this is your bible. And if you're already "in on it," this is the book you want to buy 20 copies of so you can hand it out to all the important people in your life and say, "You've really got to read this."
I've worked extensively with adoptive families over many years. There is so much preparation to be done as a potential adoptive parent that it is wonderful to have such a book that will lighten some of the load in terms of bringing your friends and family up to speed on adoption. I'm very glad to have this book to recommend to parents wanting to educate their friends and relatives about adoption and about what the parents experience in the process. In On It looks at adoption from many perspectives - including that of friends and relatives - and addresses the important adoption issues about which other people are often unaware or unfamiliar (e.g., transracial adoption, openness, privacy, language, etc.) In a warm and welcoming way this reassuring and informative book offers the right amount of information and advice for this audience. I can highly recommend this book to adoptive parents and their loved ones. It's a must have in your library if you know anyone who is adopting.
This book is an easy read and is fantastic. It is great for the adoptive parents to read and for family and friends. It has great insite on what is ok to say and what is not. Many things stated in this book were things that I had gone through. I am encouraging all my close friends and family to read it. It will help so that some of the questions that should not be asked of you will not be.This book should be on the shelf of every adoptive family.
When we told our parents that we had started the public adoption process, there was a lot of worry and concern. We were asked if we knew what we were getting in to, and people said things like kids from foster care won't ever attach or feel like your real kids, or they will have too many issues, and we got asked a lot of inappropriate questions as to why we were adopting. We were immediately put on the defensive, and hurt and insulted. We bought this book and another one, and gave them to our family. This book helped to open the floor for discussion that was constructive and helpful. Now our families are excited and involved in the process in a supportive and helpful way.
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